


Together, into the flames

by Wanheda1999



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Rewrite, F/F, F/M, Gen, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2020-09-27 23:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20415724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wanheda1999/pseuds/Wanheda1999
Summary: In this world, Azula could truly love her brother.  All it took was one change, one small oversight from the spirits.And that one change made all the difference.





	1. A bond forged through fire

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I'm going to update this around every month, more if I have the time. Please let me know what you think! and check me out on Tumblr as: gaytrashlord.

In this world, Azula could truly love her brother. All it took was one change, one small oversight from the spirits.

And that one change made all the difference. 

Azula did not get her bending early in this world. Instead, she received it later than average. Much later. She was still incredibly skilled and deadly- a prodigy through and through. 

But she got her bending late. 

So when it appeared that Azula might not be a bender, Ozai turned back to his oldest son and showered him with the attention that, in another world, would've gone to Azula. Zuko became the favored child, while his sister was left in the dust. 

In this world, Azula did not have illusions as to the type of person her father was. She saw how he withheld his affection from her when it was feared she would be a nonbender. And that, she remembered. So Azula turned not to her mother, who still was frightened of her younger child's similarities to her husband, and not to Iroh, who was looking for the son that he lacked, but to her brother. 

Zuko, who despite being under his father’s tutelage, knew what warmth and love were. Zuko, who protected her when she was young and defenceless and subject to her father’s many rages. He would hold her while she cried- the tears that not even her mother knew existed, and whisper to her that she would be okay. Zuko was afraid of Ozai, but how could he not love his baby sister, the one who’s first word was Zuzu? How could he not protect her? 

And that's how their roles were, Zuko as the protector and Azula as the one who needed protection. That is, until the day where she almost set the palace alight with a burst of blue flame more powerful than anything Zuko would have ever done. 

As soon as he saw that, and realized his daughter’s potential, Ozai switched his love and affection to Azula, deriding his son’s lacking ability. As much as she had craved her father’s acceptance, Azula could see the unfairness of it all, and the way Ozai’s praise was only a means to an end for him. So in this world, Azula took on the role of protecting her brother. She did what her mother could not, and her uncle would not. Until the day of Ursa’s banishment, Zuko had a mother, an uncle, and a sister who loved him. As much as he still struggled to gain his father’s praise, Zuko had a true family. Of course, nothing good could last forever. Ursa disappeared without a trace, during that fateful night, without saying goodbye to her daughter. 

After that, the children were truly alone. Iroh was rarely there, more often traveling, and Ozai was no wealth of love. Even as Azula was trained in the arts of war, and her father attempted to pit her against Zuko, Azula would not abandon her brother, unlike her mother and uncle. And this too, stayed constant until the day of the Agni Kai.

Azula supposed she had known all along that her brother’s opponent would be her father. She had felt the fear in her stomach all night, and the dread of the Agni Kai had not allowed her sleep. But she had not truly realized it until her father stepped out into the bright sunlight. And with that, she saw Zuko drop to his knees, pleading. Azula knew he would not fight- how could he? The firelord, his father- all Zuko had ever wanted was his love. To raise a hand against him would go against everything Zuko was.

She could not make out her brother’s pleas, or her father's commands, nor even Iroh's prayers. All Azula could think about was what could befall Zuko. Banishment or death, surely. Her throat tightened with those thoughts. Her brother was her only true family. Her mind briefly flitted to her mother. Ursa had never loved her, far too afraid of her ruthlessness. Her uncle, though sitting next to her, was indifferent to Azula, and perhaps even a little frightened. But Zuko-Zuko had always loved her.

Azula saw Ozai raise his hand, and she knew in that instant that he was going to kill Zuko, burn him to death right there. It was the chance Ozai had been long waiting for. Finally, a reason to replace Zuko’s position as heir. She was frozen, for a few seconds- the instinct to obey her father and never disobey him was instinctual, and deep rooted in her. And she could not deny the allure of being firelord one day. 

But then Zuko started to scream as the flame seared his flesh, and the smell of burning skin reached her nostrils. Azula looked over at Iroh, thinking that he might do something for the boy he professed to love so much. 

But no, Iroh would never openly disobey his brother. And with that, her mind was made up. For once, she had no plan, just a drive to save the only person who loved her. 

Azula stopped thinking, and leaped over the ropes. She sprinted over to Zuko, knowing she was not strong enough to dissipate all of the fire. Azula put herself in front of Zuko and threw her arms up as the flames hit. 

  
She did not remember much after she was burned, not even the pain. Azula knew she had called out for her family many a times while in her drugged haze, but her bedside was always empty. It was not until a week later that she truly woke. Immediately, she sat up, ignoring the pain in her hands.

“Lie down, Azula.”

Only then did she notice Iroh in the corner, looking more tired than she had ever seen him. There were a million questions upon her lips, and she started to open her mouth.

Iroh read her mind and answered before she could ask. “Zuko is alive- he is on this ship with us.”

Azula felt her whole body release some tension with that statement. Yet, she still trembled, “How is he?” she said, fearing the answer. Alive did not mean well. 

Iroh paused, looking heavy. “He was burned badly on his right eye and ear.... And he is blind in that eye.”

Blind. The people would never respect a burned firelord, let alone a blind one. Azula felt a deep throbbing pain within her chest. She pushed it aside. She could deal with those thoughts later, but not here, not in front of Iroh.“Where are we? What are we doing?”

Iroh was still slumped, with dark circles prominent beneath his eyes. His voice was raspy, like he had not spoken for days.“You both have been given a task...and until it is completed you are both banished. We are currently in earth kingdom waters.” 

Azula knew that the task was impossible, because Iroh had avoided saying it. In that moment, she did not care- later she would, but not now. All she needed now was to be by Zuko. Azula moved to get out of bed, and Iroh stopped her.

“Lay down. You don’t want to injure yourself further.” And with those words, Azula froze. Her hands. Her arms. What were they like? Were they usable?

She slowly layed back down, raising her arms into her line of sight. They were heavily bandaged, with some sort of thick, smelly poultice slathering them. That was not what concerned her; however. Azula could not feel the amount of pain she was sure she was supposed to be feeling. That was very worrying.

Deep nerve damage was almost certain. 

Iroh put a hand on her shoulder, and Azula flinched. Iroh had rarely shown her any affection. She turned to look at him, and saw a deep sadness in his eyes. He ached for both her and Zuko, she realized. She had assumed he was here for Zuko- but that was not entirely true, not anymore. 

That didn't matter to her. She shoved his hand off her shoulder and gave him a glare. Why should her care for her now? He had always made it known that Zuko was his new son, and she was little more than his frightening niece. The only person she needed was Zuko- she had no use for Iroh.

Ignoring Azulas’s displeasure, Iroh said, “Your hands will be usable, but not like before. Gripping and holding things will be difficult, and movement will be restricted.”

“And my bending?”

“...it would be advisable to never bend from your hands again.”

Azula knew then, that she would try anyways. What was a bender without their arms? She would rather lose them then have them hanging there, useless in a fight. But that was of small consequence now. “I want to see Zuko.” It was said like a command, though now her uncle certainly ranked higher than her. She was banished. 

“As soon as he wakes, I will take you to his room.”

That wasn't good enough. She needed to see him, protect him. He was her other half, always. She got up, ignoring the blistering pain that ran up her limbs. Azula almost fell over when she stood up, dizziness overtaking her. Still, she put one foot in front of the other, and began to walk. Iroh followed her, at least not foolish enough to stand in her way. She may be weak, but Azula had no doubt she could summon some potent flames regardless. 

She stopped beside the next room. Azula knew it was Zuko’s before Iroh told her. It was completely dark, save for the light she let in as she opened the door. Azula could see him, huddled in the corner of his bed, blankets thrown about. She crept in quietly, so as not to wake him. As she kneeled down beside Zuko, and saw the bandage covering his eye, part of her wanted to wail, to scream, to cry- but tears never solved anything. Her father had taught her that, through blood and fire. 

As she knelt, she made a silent promise to Zuko. 

_I will be your eyes. You must be my hands. Together, we will return. _

_ Together. _

  


When Zuko woke, he reached for Azula, and she could not hug him back, for fear of her arms, but she allowed him to embrace her nonetheless. Iroh was standing a few feet away, wiping his eyes.

When her brother asked what had happened, and Iroh explained, that's when Azula learned that they had been sent to capture the avatar. The avatar who had been missing for a hundred years. 

For a minute, she thought she would succumb to despair, but then Zuko looked at her and said, “We’ll do it. And then we can go home.” He said it with such certainty, and Azula was sure he did not doubt that they would. She could hear it in his voice, see in his gaze. They would capture the avatar and bring him to the firelord. 

Azula swallowed. For Zuko, she would move heaven and earth, burn the world to ashes and then rebuild it all. She would do anything. So for Zuko, she would help him capture the avatar. She had to. 

They had to. 

So Azula shoved her doubt away, deep into the part of her mind where she stored all her thoughts that were dangerous, and smiled.

“Of course, Zuzu. You have me- how could we not capture him?” 

The day after, they resumed training as the boat continued through earth kingdom waters. They both ignored Iroh’s protests, as well as the ship doctor’s. They had to relearn how to fight.

Azula always positioned herself to Zuko's right- she was his eyes now and always. She could not bend from her hands yet, her wounds far too fresh, so she learned to jump. She got very good at firing off kicks that sent a stream of flame at her opponent, or propelling herself into the air with her fire. Unlike her, Zuko focused on using his hands- he was always covering for her upper half. 

Eventually, Iroh even taught her to breathe fire, a skill that would not prove useless. She used it often in place of her hands when Zuko was distracted and could not help her. After a few months, Azula and Zuko never even had to speak when they were fighting together. They moved completely in sync, one covering for the other’s weaknesses. Azula knew that they were a formidable force, but they both knew that they were not what they had once been.

Azula had been a master of precision bending with her hands- striking hard and fast, even using what Zuko had dubbed “fire knives”. Those skills were lost to her, as well as her lightning bending. 

Azula mourned that the most. Even though one day she would be able to do some bending from her hands, lightning was not even a possibility. That she understood. She had gained the skill at age ten- younger than anyone else except for her father. No matter though, because it would never happen again. 

Zuko, she knew, mourned the loss of not only his right eyesight, but his hearing as well. His right ear was almost completely ruined, and he was heavily impaired from the right side. Someone could easily sneak up on him now. Azula saw the way he sat with his back against the wall, in the corner, always, if she was not by his side. Only then would he let his guard down. 

As the months went by, and there was no sign of the avatar, Zuko grew frustrated, but Azula was always there to reassure him. 

Evreytime she did so, she felt Iroh’s disapproving look.

Azula wanted to scream at him. What else could she do? If Zuko admitted to himself this was impossible, that would be admitting that he would never go home. That their father truly cared nothing for him. 

And that would break him. 

She continued to rebuff Iroh whenever he attempted to talk to her. Azula tolerated him for Zuko’s sake, or else she would have just sent him back to his cushy life in the palace. 

She had little patience for her uncle. Every sentence directed at him was a hidden insult, a barely concealed barb. And yet, he continued to attempt to talk to her. His proverbs were nothing more than nuisances, and he always attempted to draw her in to a game of pai sho. 

His little game was nothing more than a distraction, so Azula never gave in. That is, until Iroh was badgering her in front of Zuko.

Zuko turned to her and said, “Oh come on Zula, it’s a strategy game. You'll be great at it.”

She muttered angrily under her breath as she sat down opposite of her uncle. She couldn't say no to Zuko, not after the awful day he’d had. So Azula sat down, resigned to this boring game after Zuko left to bathe.

As Iroh explained the rules, she mulled them over in her head. Not an overly complicated game, but one that was open to a multitude of strategies. She picked one and started to play. After they got past the first few turns, Azula was struck by a realization. Iroh had already cornered her into a losing spot. 

She looked up at him, and saw his same smile that he always had. It fit the face of an old kindly uncle. But that’s when Azula realized that she had been a fool. Her uncle was a dangerous man- sure, he had been a great firebender back in the day and still was, but she had him categorized as nothing more than that.

As they played a game after game, Azula realized that her uncle was far more cunning than he was letting on. He was thwarting her at every turn, and though Azula did not like to lose, she was preoccupied with her newfound realization. 

Uncle Iroh was a man to watch out for. However; he could also be an asset. Azula did not like him, and she still saw him as a failure and a coward, but now- now he had some value to her. 

She wondered what game he was truly playing. Iroh did not intend to stay on this ship forever, and he was convinced that they would never find the avatar, so what was his end goal?

As Iroh finished his final move, and put the game away, he gave her a kindly smile and said, “Ah, niece. I had a lovely time. I’d love to play you again sometime.”

She gave him a piercing stare.

“Tomorrow, Uncle.”

Iroh gave her a small smirk, similar to the one that was often on Azula’s face, and she knew that this is what he had wanted. 

Fine, then. Let him think he had won. She would figure out what he was up to. And after that, they had a daily pai sho game at sunset. 

  


Slowly, Azula regained use of her arms. They became horribly scarred and bumpy, and she had to completely relearn how to move her fingers, but she could move them. As soon as they were fully healed, she wrapped them up in fighting tape, and started training harder. She started sneaking out of bed at night to practice her forms and bending. Azula would train until she was perfect. 

Uncle caught her three weeks after she had started. He watched her, out in the moonlight, in quiet contemplation, until he said “Niece, I think you may be over exerting yourself.” Azula turned, in anger, a hair out of place.

“No,” she said coldly, angrily clipping the strand of hair back. “Someone has to protect Zuko. And to do that, I need to be perfect.” She glared at him, knowing Iroh would understand the implication that he didn't protect Zuko. Azula had been the one to throw herself in the flames for him. Not him.

Iroh visibly winced, but ignored it. “Your forms are spectacular. You are almost perfect.”

“Almost isn't good enough.” Being almost perfect is what had burnt her arms. Being almost perfect had gotten her banished. 

Azula did her form again, this time, her hair staying in place. Not a single step was misdone, not a single step an accident. Perfect.

Now she could sleep for the few hours until daylight. “Goodnight Uncle.” Azula stepped around him, not bothering to contemplate the worried look on his face. 

After three years, Azula and Zuko were a deadly combination. Each was perfectly coordinated to cover the other’s area of weakness. Zuko still had a long way to go- he was still focused on basics- but those basics were near perfect now. When Zuko moved on to more advanced firebending he would have incredible control. And yet, he had never completely mastered them. He always slipped up, right at the last second. Azula knew why. 

She could feel the fear dripping off him each time he was around fire. Azula knew each time he produced fire all he could think about was his skin burning. And that's what tripped him up- he would flinch or stumble when caught off guard. 

Azula was always there to catch him. 

Sometimes, she thought about telling Zuko that she felt that way too, but that would be admitting weakness. The words always got caught in her throat. So Azula pushed herself, harder, faster, longer. Azula pushed her fear down deep inside of her, and pretended it didn't exist. Pretended she had perfect control of her emotions. She never outwardly filtered or slipped. Azula always had control of the situation. That is, until a giant beam of light lit up the sky. 

She slipped while attempting to complete her form, and Zuko caught her. They both stared at the sky, breathless.

“The avatar,” Azula whispered.

“The avatar.” Zuko said. 

And with that, the ship moved towards the light.


	2. The Avatar and Zhao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I was blown away by the response from the first chapter, so I got this done much quicker than expected-thank you all so much for the support. The third chapter will most likely take 2-3 weeks to finish, so stay tuned.

When Azula saw the boy, something caught in her throat. He was so young, and clearly the only warrior the tiny village had left, if you could even consider him one. He threw some sort of curved stick at them, but missed by a mile. It took her a moment to react, as she was struck by the look on the boys face, so similar to Zuko’s.

She pushed whatever she was feeling deep down, and quickly swept the boy aside as he charged at Zuko. Her and Zuko were the only people that mattered.

This peasant was nothing.

He landed headfirst in the snow, with an audible thump. Azula turned to address the village, but Zuko beat her to it.

“Where is the Avatar?” His voice sounded stern, commanding to an untrained ear, but Azula could hear the slight wavering. Zuko was frightened. Sometimes, Azula thought she should've been the older one. 

She stepped up beside him, and added, “Bring us the avatar. We do not wish to harm you- once we have the avatar in our possession, we will leave.” If they didn't hand him over, Azula would have no qualms about hurting anyone who stood in their way. These were peasants, nobodies.

When the strange stick the boy had thrown made a circle and hit Zuko in the head, she felt the quiet rage rise up inside of her. Azula helped Zuko to his feet, and then grabbed the still dazed warrior. She held a knife to his throat, quietly regretting the loss of her fire blades. They would've been far more effective. No matter, a steel knife could still do the job. A girl cried out, shouting, restrained by an old woman.

“Stop.” Azula looked over, and there was a small boy, no more than eleven. He stared at her with the gaze of someone much, much older. He took off his hood, and an arrow was visible. The tattoo of a master airbender. He spoke again, “Let him go. I’ll go with you, peacefully, if you don't harm anyone.” It could be a trap, Azula mused, but the air nomads were a peaceful people, and it certainly would make sense for the avatar to want to protect innocents. It was worth the risk.

She released the boy as the avatar approached. A guard already had shackles at the ready, and they quickly restrained him and led him on the ship. Azula spared one last glance at the village. She hoped to never be here again.

As they led the avatar into the ship, Azula could sense his curiosity. His eyes were wide, and taking everything around him in, like a newborn babe. She wondered if capturing the avatar could truly be this easy.

Obviously not.

When they were a decent length away from the small village, the avatar erupted into a small hurricane of airbending. Azula was thrown to the ground, though she quickly sprinted after the avatar, Zuko hot on her heels.

Now more than ever, she missed her hands.

The avatar whipped out the stick he had been holding, and it fanned out into a large glider. As soon as he had, he started sailing high up into the air.

Azula threw one of her knives, ripping a hole in one of its wings, and felt triumphant as he started to spin down towards the ground. Within seconds, though, the largest animal Azula had ever seen appeared in front of her, easily scooping up the avatar.On its back was the boy warrior, and girl- who she assumed to be his sister- who had protested her brief capture of the boy. They were on what was no doubt a sky bison, though she had never seen one. It had six legs and was incredibly furry, but was gliding through the air with ease. As well, there was an arrow on its head that matched the one on the avatar’s head.

Zuko shot one last fireball towards the beast, missing easily, and Azula considered using her flames to fly after it- but she knew she was far too slow. Uncle followed them, looking contemplatively at the sky. His almost careless demeanor irritated Azula- he had not even tried to assist them in capturing the avatar.

Zuko was all fiery rage, like he always was. He was stomping around the deck, screaming at the crew. Azula saw him quite literally smoking as he stomped towards his room. 

She knew better than to follow him when he was like this. Besides, she had work to do. Azula could hear her father’s sneering voice in her head as she practiced firebending. She could've sworn Ozai was there, watching her, judging her. She had failed, again.

Had she been a lesser person, Azula would have cried as her father hurled insults at her.

Instead, she took a deep breath, channeling her fear and anger, and released a large blast of blue fire from her hands.

It burned- burned like her father’s had- but that was good. She screamed, whether in pain or anger or exhilaration, Azula didn't know. She collapsed, unable to hold herself up, and looked at her hands. It felt like they were blistering, melting, but there was nothing but old scar tissue.

“Azula!” She turned, for a minute thinking Ozai was really there, and prepared herself for more fire. But of course, It wasn't the firelord, it was his brother, who sounded so much like him some days.

Azula felt him kneel beside her, whispering words she couldn't quite make out. It was of no matter to her anyways. She had bent fire- blue fire- from her hands. There was hope for her now.

She did not realize for a couple of minutes that she had been crying, feeling the hot tear tracks on her face. Azula quickly pushed Iroh away, taking no notice of him at all, and smoothly walked back into her ship’s cabin.

Later, she would have time to take her anger out on Uncle for seeing her weak. But now, she had to practice.

For hours upon hours, Azula worked on her technique, eventually being able to produce her blue fire without crying or collapsing.

It still stung, burning so much it felt like ice, but she could endure pain. She was not weak.

What really got to her though, was the smell. Everytime she bent, Azula could smell burning flesh, just like she did during the Agni Kai.

Azula supposed that smelling your own hands burn was not something like to go away quickly. She could ignore it though. She was a fire nation princess after all- who was better than her?

And so, as the days went by, Azula trained even harder. She could see concern in Zuko’s crinkled eyes, but he was not so stupid as to say anything. He never asked how she started bending her blue fire, or how she started bending from her hands, and for that Azula was grateful.

Zuko always knew when not to push her.

Azula could still hear Ozai, though, in the back of her head. He was there most of the time, reminding her of her failures and disappointments. Sneering, threatening her. It was far more bearable than Iroh, though.

She could barely handle talking to Iroh these days, he sounded too much like her father, but all wrong. He was too nice and too kind and Azula couldn't figure out what he wanted from her, and that was unsettling.

People were never nice without wanting something in return. After all, Azula knew that all too well. She had been nice to Mai and Ty Lee because she saw them as assets, and wanted their skills, nothing more. Her father had praised her because he wanted her fire.

Her mother had never been nice to her because she wanted nothing to do with Azula.

Her Pai Sho games with Iroh were now played in silence, Azula snapping when he tried to initiate conversation. She could hardly handle any chatter anymore, even from Zuko.

He was much quieter around her now.

They were sitting in Azula’s bedroom, Zuko brushing her hair and trimming it. Though Azula had made remarkable progress with her hands, reaching up behind her head was still near impossible, and as there were no servants, Zuko had been the one to put her hair in its traditional top knot each day.

Azula never really could force a thank you out of her mouth, but Zuko never commented on it. To say thank you would be admitting that she was weak, and that she couldn't do it herself. So, Zuko let her pretend.

She was grateful for that, too, when she thought about it. Azula did not often think about it.

Azula let her thoughts wander to her old friends, wondering what they were up to. She carefully turned her knife around in her hands, the one she had thrown at the avatar. It had been a gift from Mai, a few days before the Agni Kai. Mai had been teaching her throw them at her request. She missed Mai’s bored sighs and quiet groans. It never failed to get a smile out of her. And Ty Lee, as bubbly as she was, should've been annoying, but instead, she never failed to cheer Azula up. Sure, Ty Lee talked of nonsense, like auras, but it had always been a good distraction.

Internally, Azula chided herself before Ozai could beat her to it. There was no reason to miss them- they had been tools, a means to an end. Nothing more.

Yet, when Azula slept that night, she dreamed of them.

They chased the avatar from place to place, never staying long, and somehow, the boy and his friends always escaped by the skin of their teeth.

Zuko grew only angrier, and so did Azula. The first time Zhao had the audacity to confront them, Zuko was all yelling and fire.

Azula did nothing. Her time would come. Nothing would be gained by making her rage obvious. Instead, she kept practicing, longer and harder.

She went to sleep now about three hours before the sun rose, and then woke with it.

Everytime she firebent from her hands, she could still smell burning flesh, and the pain didn't lessen, but it no longer surprised her. In fact, it was almost a comfort, feeling the burn in her fingertips. It reminded Azula that she was alive.

She savored the pain as she practiced, pointedly ignoring Iroh when he came to watch.

Let the old man stare. She would do what she had to. Azula also ignored her father as he pointed out everytime she made a mistake. Instead, she would do it perfect the next time, and he would say nothing. Never a word of praise.

Though this firelord wasn’t real, he acted much like the real Ozai, withholding his affection until she did something truly worthy of it. And Azula knew she was still not up to her old abilities.

She needed her lightning back.

Azula knew she would have to go about this secretly- Iroh would do his all to try and stop her, and even Zuko too. They would tell her it was too dangerous, impossible. But she was Azula- she would do the impossible.

As the weeks went by, Azula grew less bothered as the avatar evaded them time after time. It was almost like a game of cat and mouse. She was learning how the avatar, named Aang, worked. Eventually, she would trap him. Her lightning bending attempts were taking precedence over anything else- once she had her skill back, she could take down anyone, even the avatar.

When Zhao captured the avatar, Azula stopped breathing. She had been stupid, been a fool, by not giving it her all. She sat down on her floor and said nothing for a few hours. She thought about screaming, crying, like she wanted to, but what use was that?

When she heard Zuko’s floor creak in the dead of night, she immediately got up and went into his room.

She saw him, dressed in all black, holding his two swords. He was staring at a large blue mask that was on his bed.

He didn't have to say anything- Azula knew what he was doing.

“Zuzu, you’re gonna get yourself killed,” She said. “I’m coming with you.”

“No.” Zuko replied, not looking at her. “If there’s two of us, it's obvious. You can provide me with an albi.”

“Then I'm going, and you can stay here.” Azula channeled the steel into her voice. She always won their arguments- this would be no different.

“No. No! You can't always protect me, Azula!.” Zuko stilled after he had finished shouting, and stared at her with a determination in his eyes that Azula had seen only a few times.

“Your hands are too recognizable, and I am skilled with the Dao swords- so i’ll have no need to firebend. Please, Azula, let me do this.”

Throughout her life, Azula had learned to pick her battles wisely. A princess knew her limits, and she knew when she was beaten. This was one of those times.

“Fine.” Azula took the mask from Zuko’s hand. ‘The blue spirit, huh? Interesting choice.”

She watched him get ready, quietly squashing her fear deep down.

As he finished, and stepped towards the door, she stopped him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Zuzu,” she started, words not coming easily. “If you die, I’ll kill you a second time.”

“Guess I better not die, then.” he replied, a soft smirk hiding the fear she knew was there. And with that, he enveloped her within a hug, Azula's arms hanging limply at her sides. When he let go, Zuko gave her one last look before exiting.

She sat there, quietly for a few minutes, fear almost paralyzing Azula. No matter, she would have to go do her nightly practice, in order to distract Iroh.

And indeed, he was there, waiting for her. She dutifully started her motions, attempting to clear her head. Azula’s mind was filled with images of Zuko failing, of Zuko dying. And no matter how much she tried, they would not leave.

Ozai sneered from his corner. “Stupid, foolish girl.”

At that, Azula no longer cared to hide her lightning bending attempts. She took a deep breath, holding it for as long as she could muster. Carefully, she moved her arms, falling into the motions easily after years of practice, and thought of nothing.

And yet, there was no lightning produced. Azula sat down, and stared at her hands. She was broken- her form had been perfect, her mind cleared. By all counts, she should have produced a massive lightning strike.

Azula would never be a master.

She sat there unmoving for hours, before Iroh dared approach her. “Niece,” he said, a quiet sadness to his voice. “I’m sorry.”

Sorry meant nothing to her- sorry could not fix her bending, sorry could not fix her hands. What good was sorry?

Azula concentrated on breathing, feeling the fire form from her mouth.

In, out. In, out.

Something had to give.

Before she had time to figure out what, she saw a dark figure sneaking his way back onto the ship. Zuko! After she saw him turn the corner, Azula stood up.

“Uncle, it has been a long day. Goodnight.” She felt Iroh’s stare on her as she left, not bothering to look back. He would be none the wiser about the night’s events.

Azula walked steadily towards Zuko’s room, forcing herself not to speed up. As she opened the door, she saw Zuko take off his mask. He had a black eye, and was a little scuffed up, but alive.

“Zuzu!” and for the first time in a long time, she was the one who hugged him. Azula felt his surprise at it, but he softened and hugged her back. “How did it go?” she asked.

Zuko paused, “I freed him, but I was hit by an arrow- the avatar dragged me away.” He stopped, looking at Azula expectantly.

“You owe him your life,” She stated. “That’s unfortunate.”

“He also saw my face.”

And with that, Azula put her head in her hands. “At least you're alive, and Zhao doesn't have the avatar.” They sat together for a few minutes, until Zuko fell asleep, exhausted.

Azula followed him not long after.

She saw Ty Lee and Mai in her dreams again, and Azula woke with a bitter taste in her mouth. She had no use for childhood friendships. It was weakness, letting her mind wander to trivial childhood memories. She had much more pressing matters to deal with- like capturing the Avatar before Zhao.

She startled as she heard a knock on her door.

“Come in,” she said, alert. It was Iroh, and standing next to him, was Zhao.

“Admiral Zhao wished to discuss certain matters with us.” Iroh said, a small seed of annoyance in his voice.

“Of course. Admiral, you have my services at your command.” she said, with as much sincerity Azula could muster. Much better Zhao think her loyal than not.

They walked to Zuko's room as Zhao appraised her, glancing at Azula out of his peripheral vision.

Zuko was already up and waiting for them, not bothering to conceal his obvious distaste.

“Zhao. To what do we owe the pleasure?” he spat out.Before Azula could admonish her brother, she saw the Admiral’s eyes wander to the Dao swords on the wall. His eyes narrowed and Azula realized his suspicions.

The blue spirit carried Dao swords.

“What beautiful craftsmanship. Do you practice the art of swords, Zuko?”

Her brother, for once, was not dense enough to give an affirmative, and said, “Purely ornamental, Admiral. Did you come here to discuss my taste in wall decoration?”

“Of course not. I am here to commandeer your crew in service to the fire nation.” He said, with a large sneer on his face.

Zhao thought he had won, then. Azula would not let herself feel the despair that would surely grip her later-right now, she needed to diffuse the situation.

Azula stopped Zuko before he could say anything stupid. “If you need it, of course Admiral. It will be our pleasure to serve the fire nation however we can.” She ended it with a small bow, and as she did, Azula felt the urge to vomit after showing such respect to him.

But no matter- satisfied, Zhao took their crew and left, having Uncle go with him for a meeting.

Zuko and Azula walked out on the deck, her brother sulking like a child. “Zuzu, it’ll be fine. We’ve faced worse and come out on top. Zhao isn't going to be the one that defeats us.”

Zuko grumbled unintelligible curses under his breath. Azula sighed and sat down beside him, feeling the breeze. A thought struck her then- Iroh had been away from the ship for hours.

Nothing Zhao had to say to their Uncle would have taken this long. What reason could he have for keeping Iroh that long…

Before she could finish her thought, Zuko yelped and pulled Azula to her feet. She felt the deck rumble beneath her, and then air around her was fire.

The last thing she remembered was being thrown from the ship as it exploded


	3. The Northern Water Tribe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! The semester at college has hit me like a truck, and I wrote this chapter instead of studying for finals. Anyways, comment your thoughts down below!

When Azula woke, she was on the edge of the bay, water lapping at her face. All she felt was the urge to go back to sleep, but the movement of the water brought her to her senses. She struggled her way to her feet, and saw that Zuko was collapsed on the sand a few feet ahead of her. It was still the dead of night, but one could not be too cautious. If Zhao knew they had survived, he would do his utmost to eradicate them, and he would take no chances the next time.

She stumbled over to her brother’s body, and saw that he was indeed breathing steadily. Azula prepared to pick him up, as strength was no issue, but quickly realized that this would be agony on her hands.

After trying to wake Zuko for a few minutes, she realized that she was going to have to pick him up. Bracing herself, she dragged him into her arms, and picked him up bridal style.

Zuzu would've tried to kill her if he had been awake. Hmmph. If her hands were going to feel like they were being ripped off, then it was only fair she could take amusement from the situation when she could.

Azula, clenching her teeth, forced herself to move over towards the town ahead. She took one step, then another, and another, until she could see ships in the docks.

Zhao’s ship!

Unfortunately, Azula knew what she had to do, and that was to find Iroh. For once, her Uncle could be of use. She had to discard of Zuko before she could go searching, though. She found a small cave and dropped him off there, and drew a message in the sand so he wouldn't leave when he woke up.

Quickly, she exited the cave. Azula had to conceal her identity- after all, she couldn't just wander into the town looking like herself. Zhao would certainly recognize her.

She stripped herself of her armor, leaving only her black underclothes. Azula refused to look at her reflection in the water, but she knew that her face was bloodied and bruised. She rinsed her face, and put her hair up in a generic earth kingdom style. It was a weak disguise, but truthfully, it was the best she could do.

She walked into town, keeping her head down and her body bent, as if she was frightened of the fire nation soldiers. Her disguise may be poor, but her body language could sell it.

Azula scanned the crowd, knowing that her Uncle was most likely somewhere at the shops. She walked towards the edge of the market, seeing a shadowed, hunched figure at a Pai Sho booth.

Azula crept over beside him, pretending to be interested in the Pai Sho tablets. She stole a glance at his face, and saw that it was puffy with grief.

She ignored the jolt that went through her chest. His grief was for Zuko, she knew.

Azula pretended to bump into him, and gave him a muffled, “Sorry.”

Iroh looked up to her face, and his eyes flashed, though he did not show any other outward signs of excitement.

“It was an accident, child. No need to worry.” And with that, Azula walked off, knowing he would follow her, though at a distance.

It was hard for her to keep her steps neutral and defeated, knowing Iroh was behind her. Eventually, once they were far out of view of anyone, she heard his steps quicken. Azula still refused to look, fearing her reaction. Her emotions were volatile right now, and it was beginning to sink in that she had been near death, as had Zuko. The adrenaline was fading.

Once they reached the cave, Iroh ran to Zuko. If Azula had not been so worried about him as well, she might have scoffed. Of course, Zuko was his concern.

It was the one thing Azula and her uncle had in common. Right now, she could not muster up much irritation towards Iroh for his worry. At least someone else cared about Zuko- he deserved that.

She couldn't deny him the love he so desperately craved, even if her jealousy was always there, in the pit of her stomach.

She didn't need love. Azula needed fear. That was a lesson her father taught her through fire and blood. Fear won fights. Love was useless.

Finally, Iroh turned to her, his forehead creased with worry. “He will be alright, as his injuries are mostly superficial. He needs to wake soon, however.”

Azula stared at him, waiting for her uncle to continue. Whatever Iroh had planned, for once she wanted to know. He knew more about the situation than she did.

“I’m going to sneak you and Zuko aboard Zhao’s ship.”

Azula opened her mouth, although for what, she couldn't say. Suddenly, the world became blurry, and she fell to her knees.

She heard Iroh shout, and grab her before she collapsed fully onto the sand, and the world went dark.

Azula couldn't say how long she had been out when she began to wake, and her first instinct was to spring up, and pretend as if it had never happened. Before she could, however, she realized Iroh was speaking.

Muttering, more like, so she strained to make out his words.

“...Niece, I often forget that you are so young. That you are but a child, even more so than Zuko, despite your demeanor. I think you wish for me to forget it too. And I do. I have many regrets in my life, from Ba Sing Se to the Agni Kai. One of my biggest is that I never loved you.”

He paused for a moment, Azula taking care for her facial expression to stay still and her breathing even. She could process this later.

Iroh was crying now.

“I looked for a son in Zuko, and I found it. You reminded me too much of your father, and that was your goal, it seems. As you became ever more ruthless and calculating, I saw you as Ozai. As someone I could never save, no matter how much I tried. So I hardened my heart to you, even when you were nothing more than a child, tottering on unsteady legs.”

He paused, as if gathering his thoughts.

“I have often deluded myself into thinking that because I am not like Ozai, I am a good man. I do my best, after all, and isn't that all we can ask for?”

Azula felt his hand on her shoulder, and forced herself not to recoil.

“You showed me how wrong I was that day. That truly, when you look at me as an old, feeble man, that I am that. Because you were a child, and I was the adult, and only you did anything to save Zuko. My excuses to myself, in the end, meant nothing. I came with you both on the ship for many reasons. I felt that I had to make it up to Zuko, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to do so.

But I also had to make it up to you.”

Iroh was full-on sobbing now, deep convulsions wracking his body.

“You will never accept my love, and I see that now. I have failed you, time and time again in your short life. So I will do the one thing I can. I will be here.”

Azula wanted to shout, to yell. It was too late now. It had always been too late for her. Now, he noticed her.

Only because she had saved his surrogate son. If she hadn't, he would have hated her until the day she passed, Azula was sure of it.

Azula was even more sure of the fact that she would never forgive him, even when he died. She was her father's daughter, after all, that is what he had said.

She hoped Iroh’s death was painful, and soon.

She waited for what felt like years for Iroh to quiet again. She then stirred, pretending to wake for the first time.

Azula ignored the rage bubbling in her chest, and brushed off all Iroh’s attempts to fuss over her. She had half a mind to throw a fireball at him, to show him what it was like to burn. But Azula was made of strategy, and she knew that an action like that would almost certainly get her killed, and leave Zuko alone.

Soon after, Zuko woke, and they proceeded to put on the fire nation uniforms Iroh had acquired, and walked onto Zhao’s ship plain as day.

Azula could feel pain in every movement, but she savored it. She had lived. And she would make Zhao regret it.

The days passed quickly, until they arrived at the North pole. She and Zuko quickly snuck away until they found the avatar and the waterbender.

The avatar was motionless, in a meditating position. He was in the spirit world, Azula realized.

Well, this wouldn't be much of a match, two against one.

Azula readied herself as the waterbender stood. She was shaking, Azula could see, and there was fear evident on her face. She knew she was going to lose, and yet she rose to fight anyways.

Azula could admire that. She saw no reason to kill this girl, despite the rage in her heart. This girl was an innocent, and a young one, at that.

And besides, Azula could appreciate her spirit.

The girl screamed, and water rushed towards her and Zuko. They dodged it easily, but the girl relentlessly assaulted them, not allowing them to get a hit in.

The waterbender was screaming, Azula realized, tears streaming down her face. She almost felt pity for her.

But then the dawn rose, and Azua felt her veins alight. They easily subdued the girl after that, knocking her out quickly.

She would awaken soon, but that was no matter. They would be long gone.

Zuko grabbed the avatar, and they ventured out into the blizzard, the cold biting Azula’s skin.

She practiced her breathing, the way Uncle taught her to, and tried to stay steady, and kept moving forward.

It was hours before they found a small cave to shelter in, quickly tying the avatar up. Azula sat down, lighting a small fire, but the cold permeated her bones. She shivered, and felt as if her body was made of ice.

It was no matter.

Zuko was staring at the avatar, an odd look on his face.

“He asked me once, that if times had been different, if we could've been friends.”

Azula was quiet. She thought it was stupid, but Zuko had always been sentimental. “I think we could've.”

Azula thought for a minute, before she spoke, “Perhaps. But the time is now. Don't think on what might have been.”

They shivered in silence for many hours.

Of course the avatar's friends had found him. Of course.

Zuko, foolish as ever, shouted, “Here for a rematch?”

The waterbender, tears evident on her face, but tears of rage, yelled back, “Oh it’s not going to be much of a rematch.”

Before Azula had a chance to move, she and Zuko were immobilized in a bank of snow.

“You just had to make her angrier, didn't you.”

It took a few minutes for them to melt the snow, and by that time, there was no sign of them, anymore.

Resigned, Azula tramped back towards the Northern Water Tribe.

Sometimes, she hated her life.

When they walked back to the meditation pool, there was quite a commotion.

Zhao was holding a fish, and yelling about being the moon slayer. Iroh was yelling back, but right before he was about to lunge, Zhao set the fish on fire.

And with that, the world was awash in red. There was no moon, Azula realized.

She saw the waterbender drop to her knees, as if in pain. Perhaps she was, after all, without the moon she could not bend.

However, she looked over to the avatar and saw glowing eyes.

That was really never a good sign.

He screamed, a primal, screeching noise that hurt her ears. It was the sound of grief. The avatar started growing, water surrounding him. He grew as tall as a place, and Iroh yelled to them.

“Let’s go!” Iroh yelled, and grabbed their hands before they were swept away.

Of course it wasn't long before Zhao intercepted them.

“You two never seem to die, no matter how much anyone tries,” he sneered. “After all, even your father wants you dead.”

Azula saw the fire and Zuko’s eyes and knew that Zhao was in trouble. Before Zuko could strike, however, A hand made of water rose up and grab Zhao.

To Azula’s surprise, Zuko reached to Zhao, telling him to grab his hand. A multitude of emotions flashed across Zhao’s face, but he refused and disappeared as suddenly as the hand had appeared.

The three of them stared for a moment, but there was no time to waste. They had to leave.

They found an empty fire nation ship and started it up as quickly as possible, desperate to leave. As the Northern Water tribe disappeared from view, a tension released from all of them.

They had lived. Capturing the avatar could wait another day.

Zuko hugged Azula, and then whispered, “What now?”

Azula didn't know.

Mai and Ty Lee were taken from their beds in the dead of night, whisked away by fire nation soldiers. Mai only had time to wave goodbye to Tom-Tom before she was swept aboard a fire nation vessel.

They were taken to the fire nation palace, a place either of them had not been for a long time.

Not since the last Agni Kai.

They were shown into the throne room, and both immediately dropped to their knees, averting their eyes. The fire lord stared at them quietly for a moment, before saying, “I have a task for the two of you.”


	4. The fall of the Earth Kingdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait guys! the pandemic has been crazy. As always, leave your thoughts down below!

Azula was awake, practicing her firebending well before Zuko would rise. As always, Uncle was watching her, his emotions imperceptible. Her rage towards him had quieted, but she certainly didn’t enjoy him watching her every move. Ozai’s presence had worsened each day. Azula’s head ached most of the time from the strain of it. Right as she was moving to practice fire knives, Azula spotted a fire nation ship on the horizon.

“it’s coming for us,” Azula stated. Iroh nodded in agreement, and went inside, presumably to wake Zuko. Azula shivered in the cold morning air, wondering what was coming for them. It took only ten minutes for the ship to dock at the port below them. If Azula had less control, she would’ve yelped when she saw Mai and Ty Lee exit, followed by quite a few soldiers.

Still, she walked calmly down to them. Mai and Ty Lee bowed to her, and Azula signaled for them to rise. “Friends, what brings you here?”

Before they could speak, the Captain did. “Firelord’s orders, Princess. They have been sent to help you capture the avatar.”

Azula felt a chill go down her spine at the implication. “And what about my brother?”

“You are no longer to have any contact with Prince Zuko.”

Azula, fighting the urge to set the Captain on fire, said, “And why is that?”

“Only one of you is to ever return. Only one gets to capture the avatar.”

Azula turned to look behind her, at Zuko. His face was tight, and he was nearly smoking at the ears. Still, something else was bugging Azula. There was only one ship and crew- for her. Of course, her father would only want her- she was the preferred heir. But he was not so stupid to leave it to chance that she would capture the avatar, and not Zuko. Azula squinted and saw another ship on the horizon.

They were going to kill Zuko.

Azula took a couple of breaths, and then turned to the Captain. “Let me say my goodbyes, and then we will be on our way.”

She walked a couple of paces to Zuko, embracing him with her mouth close to his good ear, and started whispering.

“You need to run- fathers going to try and have you killed. Follow the direction of the avatar, and you’ll never be that far from me. We will meet again, Zuzu. I promise.”

Zuko did not acknowledge her statement, and simply said, “I love you, Zula.”

“I love you too, brother.”

She released Zuko from her embrace and wiped all emotion off of her face. She boarded the ship without looking back. Azula, for once, was grateful for Iroh. He would never let Zuko die, and he was an extremely capable fighter. He would keep Zuko safe.

Azula directed the captain on their course, swallowing bile when she saw the other ship dock. Looking away, she went to Mai and Ty Lee’s cabin.

She needed a good distraction.

Ty lee, now free from the awkward situation, bounded up to Azula and gave her a bear hug. Mai simply watched.

“Oh, Azula its so good to see you!” Ty Lee said, walking on her hands from excitement. Mai, twirling a knife, on one finger, looking as bored as ever, said nothing for a moment.

“Pity about the circumstances.”

Azula said nothing but let Ty Lee continue to chatter. It was nice to hear her voice again. Mai must’ve been in a particularly bad mood because she threw several knives in a matter of seconds. This didn’t even phase Ty Lee, who kept up her endless stream of words.

Without thinking, Azula reached for her braid, as it was falling out, but winced as she extended her arm too far.

“Let me get that for you! I love doing hair.” Ty lee squealed, not waiting for a response before her fingers were deftly moving through Azula’s hair.

Azula’s hands were wrapped in bandages like always, but her ruined fingers still poked through, scarred and red. Neither Mai or Ty Lee commented on them, though Azula knew they had noticed. After all, they’d been at the Agni Kai. They had seen the firelord burn her.

Ozai snickered in her head.

Azula went to bed early, as she needed an excuse to be alone. She missed Zuko desperately and was so worried about him she couldn’t think about much else. He and Iroh were a good pair, though. They should escape just fine. 

As she laid down, Azula felt all too alone. The bed was cold, and she feared what the night would bring. Azula certainly didn’t need anybody, but she would benefit from as much sleep as she could get, so she trekked to Ty Lees cabin. She just needed a warm body, that was all. The dammed air was like ice.

Ty lee smiled blearily as Azula opened the door. “Hi, Zula.”

“Scoot over. It’s freezing in my cabin.”

Ty Lee obliged happily and was snoring again within seconds. The heat radiating off Ty Lee was astounding for a non firebender. It was nice. Perhaps Azula had missed Ty lee a little bit. She was good for her morale, and a talented fighter as well. She was useful, so it made sense to have missed her.

Azula fell asleep soundly, not waking till dawn. Ty Lee was still sleeping, though she was shivering as Azula had stolen the blankets in the middle of the night.

Azula got up, getting ready to go practice firebending. As she was about to leave, she glanced back at Ty Lee, still shivering. Azula went back over and covered her with the blankets. Ty lee would be more productive today if she got good sleep, after all.

Mai was already awake, throwing knives at some targets on deck. They practiced side by side for an hour, silently, before Mai spoke.

“Do you want me to show you how to throw knives? It could be rather beneficial.”

“Yes.” Azula eyed her, knowing that was as close as she would get to a “good to see you” from Mai. It meant the same thing, though. Good.

Mai was still loyal, as was Ty Lee. That was good. If Azula felt happy, that was just because they were good assets.

Azula still hated the avatar. He always managed to squirm out of their grasp at the last second, with those friends of his. He looked to be headed towards Ba Sing Se, which gave her an idea. If she tried to take the city, he would have no choice but to confront them. And she would be ready.

The preparation for the siege took forever. Ty Lee practiced the Kyoshi makeup each night, and Azula wondered if Zuko was headed towards the city as well. She hoped so. She had heard nothing about him, which she supposed was a good sign. The emptiness in her heart never left, though. She instinctively fought on the right of Ty Lee, like she was still covering his blind spot. Azula, Ty Lee, and Mai, made a great team, but Azula missed the fluidness she had with Zuko. The way she never had to say anything, but he was already moving. She hoped Iroh was keeping him safe.

Azula continued to sleep in Ty Lee’s bed at night, as her room was still perpetually cold. She often had nightmares where she would wake in a cold sweat, but it was nice to have Ty Lee’s heat right there. Once, Ty Lee had woken up right after Azula had. She had told Azula that she had a bad dream and needed some tea.

Azula made them both tea as they sat on the deck. Ty Lee snuggled up to Azula in the cold air. “I missed you.”

Azula said nothing in response, but she smiled and started to play with Ty Lee’s hair. It was nice, to feel needed. Ty Lee’s hair now reached her low back, and Azula marveled at the length and thickness. Ty lee turned to look at Azula, and Azula was at once struck with how Ty lee’s face looked in the moonlight.

Azula couldn’t get distracted like this.

She coughed and said, “We should go back to bed. We have a long day tomorrow.”

It all went according to plan. Long Feng was as easily manipulated as she had thought, and they overtook the Ba Sing Se government in one fell swoop.

Everything was falling into place. While sitting on the throne, a Dai Lee agent notified her that they had located Zuko. She left Mai and Ty Lee in charge of the throne room and went to the area where he was being held.

Azula almost didn’t recognize him, his hair was short and shaggy, and there were many more scars on his body now.

“Zuzu, you made it. Just like I thought you would.”

“Azula!” He ran to hug her, and Azula allowed herself a tiny smile. It was good to have him back. He may look a bit ragged, but that was to be expected from being on the run. There was no time to talk however, as Azula heard a giant crash. The avatar and his friends had arrived.

Perfect. 

She grabbed Zuko and they went running. The avatar was already fighting the Dai Lee, and Azula hurled a fireball at him as she was running. The avatar turned and focused his attention on her, while Zuko went for the waterbender. They were a team like they used to be. 

Azula hurled fireball after fireball at the avatar, and she could see him getting tired. He was close to making a misstep. Right as Azula saw her window, a fire lash nearly scorched her.

It was Uncle. He put himself between her and the avatar, allowing him to get away from her clutches.

“You’re a traitor, Uncle. Can’t say I’m not surprised.” It all made sense now- that’s why he hadn’t wanted them to capture the avatar and never seemed to help. This was his ultimate agenda.

Iroh readied himself in a defensive stance to fight her. Zuko looked baffled and horrified, as If he was in some horrible nightmare. For a moment, Azula felt bad for Zuko. He loved Uncle so much, but it was no matter.

There would be no fighting. Azula waved her hand, and before her Uncle realized it, he was trapped in a cage of crystal.

“I’ll deal with you later, Iroh.”

Zuko looked conflicted, until Katara hit him in the chest with a wave. Then he was back to fighting. It was a long and grueling process, but they managed to push the waterbender and the avatar into a defensive position where they were surrounded. Victory was at hand.

The avatar started to rise, floating in the air and his eyes beginning to glow. Everyone turned to watch, in awe of the power in the room. The wind whipped around him as the ground trembled. No one moved. 

Except for Azula. She took a deep breath, and focused. For a moment, she thought of how young the avatar was, before pushing that from her mind.

Azula thought of home and screamed as the electricity left her hands. The crackling filled up the cavern with light. It hit the avatar square in the chest, as he fell down, dead. Azula collapsed, holding her arms to her chest in agony.

Katara escaped with the avatar’s body, though Azula could not bring herself to care through the searing pain in her limbs. Zuko ran to her, saying words she could not hear.

“We are going home, Zuzu.”

Azula guessed he was protesting from the look on his face. She raised her hand to his face.

“Who would ever believe that I produced lightning? You killed the avatar, and I took down Ba Sing Se. We will both be welcomed back as heroes.”

Ozai looked at her approvingly from his stance a few feet away. Home was near.

As her world went dark, Azula wondered how painful the avatars death had been. Electrocution could not have been kind to the child. She felt guilty for a moment, and then her mind went blank.


	5. Home

Azula wasn’t worried. Zuko had been, of course, but she had this all planned out from the start.

“What if dad asks me to lightning bend and I can’t do it?” Zuko was fidgety, tapping his foot on the deck boards.

“Oh, c’mon Zuzu. You were just so desperate to kill the avatar in the moment that it just happened. There’s no way Father would believe that I’d be able to do it, or that we’d have the stupidity to lie to him.” The words rolled off Azula’s tongue easily. It was foolproof. Zuko seemed to accept that answer, but something was clearly still eating at him. It took a few minutes, but eventually he spoke.

“Did you know about Uncle- that he was a traitor?” His voice shook as he asked.

Azula stared at the water below them and said quietly, “No. I missed that, somehow.” She hated not being right. Of course, Azula had known Iroh had a different objective than what he pretended, but Azula had never thought to imagine it would be treachery. She was foolish, to have not considered that.

Zuko, refusing to look at her, said, “I knew.”

“What do you mean, you knew?” Azula felt the rage bubbling within her. How could Zuko have figured it out and not her? Zuko quickly looked up.

“No- no. I didn’t know it until we were making our way across the Earth Kingdom. But I didn’t let myself believe it until now.”

That made sense. Zuko tended to lie to himself in order to make his life easier. Sozin knows it only made him even more oblivious.

“How did you gather that?”

“It’s hard to explain. He kept trying to push me in a different sort of direction- I can’t pinpoint how, but he talked a lot about peace and balance.” So Iroh had wanted Zuko to follow him in his treachery. He had been priming Zuko to help him. Azula filed that knowledge away for later.

Right now though, she could feel Zuko’s sadness. She may have hated Iroh, but Zuko hadn’t. “I’m sorry, Zuzu.”

Before either of them could say anything else, the ship stopped. They were home.

_Home._

Azula had thought that she’d never see the fire nation again. It was so beautiful, with the familiar heat heavy on her skin. Zuko looked teary eyed. It felt like a dream.

There was no time to take in the view, as they were immediately taken to their father. Both of them dropped to their knees and Azula gave her rehearsed rendition of the events. She dared not look up, but she felt her father staring at her hands, even though they were mostly covered with cloth wraps. The heat in the room reminded her all too well of the last time she had seen her father, and his flames.

Through those moments that felt like an eternity, Azula reflected on the fact that the real firelord was here in front of her. For years, Ozai had lived in her head, taunting her, mocking her.

Now her head was quiet.

“Rise, children.”

They both did, in silence.

“I am proud to accept your contribution to our nation, and to welcome you back with open arms.” His voice was still cold, dispassionate, and his face was obscured through the flames. He motioned his hand for them to leave. Well, Ozai was exactly as she’d remembered him.

They dared not speak until they were in Azula’s chambers. Once there, they simply collapsed onto the bed and cried.

It was everything they had wanted. Yet Azula still felt hollow inside.

Their days quickly became routine. They went to council meetings, saw Mai and Ty Lee, and trained. Their father was rarely around, which helped Azula enjoy being home, a little bit. She was adjusting into her new/old life. There was still a nagging sensation in the back of her mind that something wasn’t right, but Azula quickly became proficient at ignoring it. Eventually though, she knew what she had to do.

Zuko apparently thought she was an idiot. He assumed his trips to see Iroh were a secret. Hmmph. She was more than willing to pretend, but it meant that tonight, she had to get Mai to distract Zuko. The guards she’d been bribing for weeks let her in without question. It was easy enough, until she got to Iroh’s cell. The door creaked open, revealing a dirty floor, and an even dirtier Iroh.

He looked pathetic. Azula thought she’d enjoy the sight, but it only nauseated her now. His hair was scraggly and unbrushed, and the dark circles under his eyes were deeper than she’d ever seen them. He looked like a shadow of his former self.

“Ah, Niece. I wondered you would come to see me.”

He still sounded the same. Vaguely sad and knowing- it was infuriating.

“I should’ve let you rot.” Azula spat out. She’d made a mistake; this would solve nothing. Her head was still too loud for it being empty. Why had she even thought to come here? Iroh had never helped her before.

“Azula. Please.” There was an odd sort of pleading tone in his voice. The type of tone he normally reserved for Zuko.

She sat down, lotus style, directly across from him. Azula said nothing, and simply waited for Iroh to say whatever he apparently needed to. She was curious.

“I know you spoke to your father about me.”

Azula’s blood ran cold- Zuko must have told him. She kept her face even, not even allowing herself to blink. Iroh would get nothing from her.

“Why did you convince Ozai to spare me? You may have used some compelling evidence on potential rebellions, but I know that wasn’t it. “ Iroh stared at her, hoping to glean something from her face.

“Zuko loves you. That’s why.” Azula spat the words from her mouth, burning. She stared at her Uncle, a challenge in her eyes.

He took it.  
“You and I both know I’m not a fool, niece.”

The rage in her heart was singing, screaming so loud Azula couldn’t hear. She remembered the last time he’d been honest with her when he thought she wouldn’t hear.

“Because you’ve never loved me and you never will; because I wanted to show you that I wasn’t the monster you thought I was. You have always praised Zuko for his kindness, and everything else about him, and you have never once loved me. Only when I did what you could not- would not- did you take notice of me. Because I have always reminded you of Ozai when I have never been him. “

Iroh tried to interrupt, but she threw the glass of tea she’d brought at him. It spattered on the walls, showering Iroh in his favorite beverage. “Because you never stopped to think that I might’ve been you. We were both the favored heir, and brought up for greatness, but it was our siblings who got it; because you were a war general brilliant in the ways of strategy before you were a traitor. You were the dragon of the west, and I am the most feared military leader the nation has ever seen. You have always seen yourself in Zuko, but you never were him.” She was screaming now, uncontrollable anger shaking the walls.

“Zuko has always been kind and good and better than us. You only found kindness after killing hundreds of people and your son dying. If I’m a monster, you are too. You thought Zuko was worthy enough and good enough to follow you, but never me. I was just a crazy little girl who was of no use to you.”

Azula didn’t know what she wanted but her head was splitting. It hurt so bad, inside, and out. Her head reverberated shouting the word MONSTER over and over and over.

MONSTERMONSTERMONSTERMONSTER

“Azula.” Uncle’s hand was on her shoulder. He was shaking, his voice trembling. “I was wrong- “

Her head screamed. She screamed. “Don’t you see? It’s too late now. I am the monster you thought I was.”

MONSTERMONSTERMONSTERMONSTER

Iroh was still talking- shut up shut up shut up.

Azula thought she would die from this pain. She was clutching her head in her hands. It burned like the fire that had scarred her.

Whether it took hours or minutes for the chant to fade, she wasn’t sure. Her vision returned to her.

Uncle was saying words, but that didn’t matter. He’d failed her, like her mother. She hated him, she wanted him dead and burned like her. The only person who’d ever believed in her was her father. Her father didn’t love her, but she was a monster. Who would?

She thought of the boy she had killed. The Avatar. Azula thought his name might’ve been Aang. She had killed and eleven-year-old to get home. Was it worth it?

MONSTERMONSTERMONSTERMONSTER

She stumbled back to her room, feeling like someone had lit her bones alight. She wasn’t alone anymore, Azula realized.

It was Ty Lee. Azula couldn’t speak, but Ty Lee simply took her into her arms, and cradled her. Azula knew this was weakness, but she didn’t care anymore, and clutched Ty Lee’s arm for dear life. Azula needed to know she was still alive. The beat of Ty Lee’s heart reminded her that she was, as her tears wet the girl’s shirt. They fell asleep like that, entangled in each other.

The next day, their father decided they needed a vacation. Azula thought that might be good for her. Ty Lee was ecstatic, of course. It was nice to see the girl so excited about something. Ty Lee had the grace to pretend like last night had never happened, and Azula continued that delusion.

Zuko and Mai did what they were both best at and griped until they docked. God, those two were such downers together.

Azula felt a wave of disgust as the boys fawned over Ty Lee at the beach. She never had been bothered with trivial things such as romance. It was a foolish waste of time. Still, Azula felt some joy when she set one of the boy’s towels on fire, causing him to run screaming into the ocean.

Life was alright, sometimes.

Of course, until it was the four of them alone. Zuko was dramatic as always, although Azula sat up and yelled at him when he called Ty Lee a circus freak. She felt oddly protective of her as the girl cried. She was just returning last night’s favor, though. Ty lee started her spiel for the twentieth time about her horrible childhood and then Mai and Zuko all complained about theirs, expecting her to join in.

She snorted at them. “Bad things happen- Get over it. I don’t see why you all have to make a big deal out of the past. You learn from it and move on.” Azula had always known there was no use dwelling on these sorts of things. It was easier to just block it out of your mind.

“Oh C’mon Azula, I know your not perfectly unscathed.” Zuko’s tone was biting now. He wanted something from her. He was especially bitter tonight and determined to piss off everyone around him.

“You want a sob story? Fine. My uncle never loved me, and my father sees me only as a tool to be used. My own mother thought I was a monster.”

She paused. Azula refused to look at any of them. “She was right, but it still hurt.”

With her heartbeat, the words thrummed in her chest.

MONSTERMONSTERMONSTERMONSTER

No one said anything, too afraid to upset her. Zuko looked at her with regret in his eyes. “You’re not a monster.” He was a liar, of course, or maybe he really believed that. Zuko wasn’t the smart one out of the two of them.

Azula faked a laugh, desperate for something else to do. “You know what would make this night fun? I’m tired of all this stupid chit-chat.”

Destroying Chan’s house turned out to be fun anyways. And watching Ty Lee giggle as she swung from the chandeliers made the night. Ty Lee fell asleep in Azula’s lap, and she looked too tired think of moving her. Mai came out and raised an eyebrow, staring at Azula.

“What? She was tired after her little rant at the beach. You know Ty Lee, any amount of anger wears her out.” It was true- on the rare occasions Ty Lee was angry she would sleep till the sun went down the next day.

“You look happy.”

“Of course I’m happy. Did you see Chan’s face when I burned his antique rug?” It had been hilarious, watching him beg and plead.

Mai looked exasperated and continued her trek to the bathroom. Azula couldn’t make out what she was muttering, but it certainly wasn’t anything pleasant. It never was from Mai.

That didn’t matter though. Here, as she listened to Ty Lee’s steady breathing, Azula’s head was quiet.


	6. Love and fear

Zuko had seemed odd, after the beach. He was more distant and closed off. Azula tried to pull him out of his head, inviting him to wherever she was, but it was no use. He ate dinner alone in his room most days. This, of course, meant that Mai was in absolutely foul mood most of the time. Spirits, it was getting on her nerves. It hurt Azula that Zuko wouldn’t talk to her, but she wouldn’t push him.

She noticed he was sneaking out to see Uncle even more- a truly risky amount. Azula waited for him to come back from his latest visit. Honestly, his room was so drab and boring. She really wished he would have had the foresight to come back earlier. Finally, after ages, he opened the door.

He looked rather startled to see her in his chambers. “Azula, what are you doing here?”

“You have to stop visiting Uncle this often. I can only bribe the guards so much.”

Zuko was visibly frustrated- Azula could swear that she saw a spark hit the floor. “I don’t need you to protect me all the time. I can take care of myself just fine!” He turned away from her for emphasis. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Zuzu- I just want you to be safe from Father.” Azula said, unwilling to bow to her younger brother. Regardless of how angry he was, she could get through to him.

“Well its too late for that, isn’t it?” Zuko threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. “Do you see the scar on my face?” He was storming around now, vicious in anger; the one trait had inherited from Ozai. The look in eyes was all wrath, and all to familiar, though it looked strange on her brother’s face.

“Just calm down-“

“NO!” Zuko turned back to her, all unbridled anger. “I’m dead either way. The avatar is alive.”

No. That couldn’t be. She had hit him square in the chest with a full force lightning bolt, and no one could survive that. Then again, the avatar wasn’t just anyone. Foolish, she had been foolish.

Azula couldn’t speak.

“I sent an assassin after him, but with the kind of luck he has, Father will hear about it soon.”

Ozai was going to kill Zuko this time. The excuse he had been looking for was about to be dropped right into his lap. Zuko had supposedly killed the avatar, but when the Firelord learned of the truth- well.

A public execution would be his first step.

“I won’t let you die.” Azula rasped. “I wouldn’t stand by the first time, and I won’t do it now.”

Zuko snapped, “I don’t want your protection anymore. Where did your little move with the avatar land me?”

His voice was so bitter it shocked Azula to her core. Zuko was very rarely angry with her, let alone like this. He had always been kind to her, even in his darkest moments.

“Get out, Azula.”

She followed his directions numbly. After Azula closed the door behind her, she heard Zuko start sobbing- uncharacteristic of the rage he was spewing seconds before. She didn’t care to dissect what it meant, though.

Azula ran.

Azula ran across the courtyard in the rain, to the only person she could think of. She barged into Ty Lee’s room, not bothering to knock.

Ty lee, not bothering to ask any questions, wrapped Azula in a warm blanket. Only then did Azula realize she had been shivering.

“Zuko hates me.” She whispered, so quiet Azula wasn’t sure if Ty Lee would hear.

“Don’t be silly, Zula-“

“No. He really hates me. You should’ve seen the way he looked at me. If he dies, it’ll be my fault and he knows that.” A few tears escaped her eyes, burning her cheeks from the warmth. Worse than that, Azula knew what this meant.

No one loved her.

She collapsed into Ty Lees arms, seeking the temporary human comfort of the girl’s embrace. Love was pointless, but Azula had always craved it. Zuko had loved her, had kept her sane, and now she had no one. She couldn’t voice this out loud, and simply gripped Ty Lee’s shirt even harder as a lifeline. She truly was a monster.

“Azula….”, Ty lee trailed off, seeming to think better of what she was about to say. Instead, she braided Azula’s hair into an elaborate style. The motion would normally calm her, but not now.

She prided herself on being perfect. On never messing up. The last time her skills had failed her was the Agni Kai. And now, her skills had failed again. This time, it would lead to Zuko’s death.

Azula was nothing but a failure. Zuko saw it, Uncle had seen it. Her father would not be blind to it for long. She would soon have no one who cared to keep her alive, for love or for skill.

Trust was for fools. Azula had known that, but she’d grown complacent. Fear was the only reliable way. Her only hope was to make sure no one would ever turn against her again for fear of certain doom. Her heart wrenched with hatred.

“Get off.” Azula growled at Ty Lee. “You forget your place.” The words felt foreign on her lips.

Ty Lee dropped Azula’s hair as if she’d been burned. Her face was blank.

“Azula?” Ty Lee whispered tentatively. The girl’s hands hung limply at her sides.

“We are not friends. You are my companion because you’re useful. Nothing more. Make sure you remember that.” Azula’s heart felt heavy, but she pushed it away. She had no need of affection.

Ty Lee was nothing more than a pawn in her game. Everyone was. She was a Princess of the fire nation, and people should fear her strength.

“As you wish, Princess.” Ty Lee said, her voice unfaltering. She used Azula’s title rather than her name- Good. They should not be overly familiar with each other; these past few months had been a mistake.

Ty lee’s eyes shined in the candlelight, with what looked like fear in her face. Fear was the only way to truly control people.

It was better like this.

Azula repeated that to herself until she reached her chambers, collapsing on her bed. However, there was someone already in the room.

“Mother?” Azula asked.

Ursa said nothing, simply giving Azula that disappointed glare that she always had in life. Her mother was dead, now. This wasn’t real.

She sneered back at the apparition. “You’re dead, mother. All that love didn’t save you.” Her mother had been flocked by admirers in life, and had been adored by the peasants. Azulon and Iroh had both liked her as well, but It never mattered in the end. No love could’ve saved Ursa from her husband’s wrath.

Her mother did not respond, and simply opened her arms, as to hug Azula.

Azula knew none of this was real. But when she felt her mother’s soft hand touch her shoulder, she doubted herself for a second.

_It wasn’t real._

The days passed from one day to the other slowly now. Azula practiced even more than usual, from sunup to sundown. There was not much else she could do to fill her time. Most of the days, her mother followed her like some kind of ghost, though she still never said anything. It was all in her head, Azula knew. If she kept training harder and harder, eventually she would be too tired to imagine things like this. Besides, the long sessions of practice pleased her father.

Azula spent the days without a single word to Ty Lee. It hurt, but Azula knew it was for the better. She would not make that mistake again.

As the day of the eclipse approached, Zuko grew even antsier than before. If the avatar were going to invade, he would do it then.

And then Zuko would die.

Azula didn’t know what to do. For once in her life, she had no plan. She loved Zuko despite everything, but her body screamed at the prospect of betraying her father again. At least Ozai saw her potential. She would not lose her position again.

When the morning of Black Sun arrived, Azula rose with the sun. She was in full armor; the knives Mai had given her concealed within.

Azula was eating breakfast in the false throne room when Mai barged in.

She looked stricken- and Mai didn’t normally do emotions. She would have an eyebrow quirked upwards in order to signify happiness perhaps, but nothing like this.

Tears were rolling down her face. Something was very wrong. For a moment, Azula forgot her mantra of ruling by fear.

“Mai, what’s going on?”

Mai shoved a piece of parchment into Azula’s hands. “Zuko- he’s gone to confront the firelord. He’s going to join the avatar.”

Azula was overtaken by a wave of terror. Zuko would not survive a confrontation with her father, and he had announced his intention to commit treason. He was dead. No matter how much he hated her, Azula could not bear the prospect. She would not stand idly by as he was burnt to ashes.

Saving Zuko was almost certainly a suicide mission. Fear would not save Azula now. Her father would not fear her power. She laughed brokenly. All that rhetoric about fear, and it was useless in the end.

“Azula, please.” Mai’s voice was steady, somehow. “Stop him; do something. I would, but my family-“

Azula nodded. “Tell Ty Lee- “Her voice cracked. Azula couldn’t get the words out that she wanted. She couldn’t. Azula knew Ty Lee’s last memories of her would be the cold, unfeeling disgust she had radiated that night. “Tell her I’m sorry.”

“Of course.”

And with that, Azula sprinted towards the underground entrance to the throne.

Her chest burned from the sprinting, but she could not allow herself to slow down. Zuko could already be dead.

As she threw open the doors, smoke was already pouring out from the room. Ozai raised his hands; he was conjuring lightning, preparing to aim it at Zuko. Zuko simply stood there- Azula realized he was going to try and redirect it. Something he’d never attempted before. For a fleeting moment, Azula reflected on how stupid Zuko could be sometimes. But then, Ozai started to aim.

“NO!” Azula screamed, and seeing her, Ozai’s face twisted in hatred. He turned towards her and released the electricity.

Azula braced herself for searing pain, but the bolts never reached her. Instead, Zuko jumped in front of her, clutching the lighting to his chest. She saw him scream in agony as he fell to the floor, motionless. He had taken the strike for her, like she had once done for him.

Once again, the smell of burning flesh filled the room with the three of them. This is how it always had been. Zuko had chosen Azula.

Azula had chosen Zuko, once again in opposition of her father. This showdown had always been inevitable; Azula knew they’d been living on borrowed time.

Zuko convulsed on the floor, alive, but barely. Tears dripped from Azula’s face. Not all was lost.

Without even thinking, Azula erupted blue flames at the throne. She chose her brother, again and again and again. In every lifetime. Over everything she’d once wanted.

Her fire wouldn’t be enough to keep Ozai down long enough for her to get away with Zuko. Already, she could hear him stumbling to his feet through the smoke.

Grimacing, Azula cleared her mind. She thought only of saving Zuko, only of love, and shot lightning at the ceiling, collapsing it. Her heart sung with righteous anger. Rocks poured down around her father.

This was her chance.

Azula grabbed Zuko, hauling him onto her back, and sprinted.

It shouldn’t be possible, she thought. Zuko was heavy and she knew her hands should be in agony, but there was none. She was filled only with the bursting need to get to safety. Iroh, she realized. She could trust Iroh, and he would know what to do. Iroh would do anything to save Zuko.

She reached her destination in no time, but her stomach dropped. The prison was a pile of smoking wreckage. Iroh was long gone. He was the only one she could trust right now, but there was no chance of finding him, not soon enough to save her brother.

Zuko would die soon from his wounds.

There was only one person Azula knew of who had recovered from a lightning strike to the chest, against all odds. She grabbed the nearest war balloon in desperation and followed the faint trail of the avatar’s bison.

Zuko’s fate lay in the hands of people they had tried to kill and capture again and again.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment your thoughts down below!


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